An open letter to the TSA...

Well I'm on my way back Down Under today. I had a GREAT time in the US seeing family and friends for the holidays. Also got some cool gifts to bring back, especially some Pee-Wee Herman DVDs (thanks Froggy!).

While I'm looking forward to getting back, the one thing I'm not looking forward is the air travel getting there. Or more specifically, dealing with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employees. So because I do tend to travel so much, I have a few suggestions for the TSA representatives that contact the general public:

1) STOP SHOUTING! - You're standing in the snaking line going up to the security checkpoint and all you hear over and over is some TSA rep braying instructions at the top of their lungs. Already feeling like an extra in the movie Soylent Green, all this does is make the situation more chaotic and tense. A suggestion? How about a friendly rep or volunteer who walk down the line chatting, providing those same instructions in a one-on-one basis and so and making people feel more at ease.

2) SMILE :-) - Yes, I know you view us as the unwashed masses that just make your life more difficult, but we're not: we're someone's brothers, sisters, friends, and parents. Wouldn't you try and make your own see you actually don't despise them the moment you see them? I also think you'll find that people will be more tractable and cooperative. After all, we want to make your job easier as it makes our travel smoother.

3) A LITTLE COURTESY NEVER HURTS. - An "Excuse me, Sir/Ma'am," a "Yes, please?" when it's my turn to approach you, and a "Thank you, have a good flight," would be most welcome! You are the first experience most travelers will have and more than a grunt and no eye contact really matters overall. I once saw an employee refuse to process an elderly passenger because he didn't have his medicine in a quart bag. Rather than offer him a bag, they told him he would have to get out of line to find one. I think there is a special place in a middle seat at the back of a plane for that TSA person.

To my fellow travelers? I try to give the TSA reps I encounter my best smile and greeting; it's surprising how many respond - usually with amazement.

Perhaps there is a give-and-take here.

- Farmer Ted