International House of Horrors: Fred goes home...

So, Hollywood actor turned GOP presidential candidate Fred Thompson has thrown in the towel and given up the bid for his party's nomination after a humiliating show in the South Carolina primaries. While there will be much analysis as to why his campaign failed, I figured why not me too. I think he fell wrong by comparing himself to Ronald Reagan, a comparison inexplicably made by each of the other GOP candidates as well. So since Mr Thompson insisted, here is the Farmer Ted Tote Board to help us understand the differences:

AWARDS:
Ronald Reagan: Hollywood actor, winning a 1957 Golden Globe and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame;
Fred Thompson: Hollywood actor, losing the 2004 Best Ensemble Cast SAG Award but getting a kick-ass farewell card from the cast of Law & Order.

PERSONALITY:
Reagan: Charming and gregarious, making people like him no matter what;
Thompson: Rough & gravelly, making you think of the old man in "that house" that always chased you as a kid.

LEGACY:
Reagan: Has over 81 airports, naval vessels, institutions and bridges & highways named in his memory;
Thompson: Has his name on his mailbox.

WIFE:
Reagan: Nancy, who wielded unprecedented power over the oval office and shocked the nation by wearing a red dress to Ronald Reagan's first inauguration;
Thompson: He has a wife?

ALSO KNOWN AS:
Reagan: Ronald Wilson Reagan -> Sgt. Ronald Reagan -> Lt. Ronald Reagan -> Governor Ronald Reagan -> President Ronald Reagan;
Thompson: Fred Dalton Thompson -> Freddie Thompson -> Sen. Fred Thompson -> Fmr. Sen. Fred Thompson.

I think that last one speaks for itself.

- Farmer Ted