Observing the Aussies: Food...

I think the Aussies fall somewhere between England and the US when it comes to food. Not that the US is in any stretch of the imagination the land of haute cuisine, but I do think because of the large immigrant makeup of what makes the (now) 300 million people there has been an amazing diversity in American cuisine.

So what's here, my countrymen back home might ask?

Well I think the oddest thing they eat here is what they affectionately call "meat pies." Now once any Americans reading this get their minds out of the gutter (shame on you!), they are actually hand-sized tarts of flaky crust containing a meat gravy mixture.

And are they ever available here! You can get them flash frozen, from street vendors, and from bakeries. Served with gravy on top, with a side salad, and in a plate of mushy peas (don't get me started). They come filled with beef, chicken, lamb, or even vegetarian. For lunch. For dinner. On the run. They are considered the height of deliciousness and people here will drive miles to go to a bakery that makes "the best meat pies."

Can any American even think of using the words "best", "meat", and "pie" together in a sentence other than to say "I had a Swanson pot pie last night and meat was so nasty it was the best feeling to throw it away."

Another thing they do that cracks me up is sell you slices of bread in coffee shops and such for about, oh, $3 for 2 toasted slices. Of course, this price is in Australian dollars which means you really paid about 45-cents US, so that makes it more palatable. But when I first expressed astonishment at seeing this displayed in a bakery case I was met with that blank "WTF!" look I'm so used to these days.

What I'd love to do is turn them loose at Jim's Steaks on South Street in Philadelphia. Once faced with that greasy array of options and a sweaty tattooed overweight grill guy braying"Waddayawantandmakeitfastoryousegotodaendofdaline!" they'll crumble like the crust on one of their meat pies.

Then I'll have my revenge.

- Farmer Ted