Observing the Aussies: Sports...

Australians like the oddest sports. Like cricket. This was made vivid to me when I looked in the newspaper and saw a local sporting goods store advertising a sale on cricket bats. Tell me, have you ever seen any circular in the states even include cricket bats? I haven't.

They also love rugby and have two major leagues - the Australian Football League (AFL) and the National Rugby League (NRL). As both held championships this weekend with lotsa press coverage, I've noticed some things about rugby compared to American football.

American football players are fat-assed slobs. I say this because, from what I've seen, there is no such thing as a fat rugby player. What with all that running back and forth across the field and bumping into each other as mysteriously as those plastic men on those vibrating NFL games you got as a kid at Christmas that never really worked right, they are all fit as hell.

Rugby players are glorified brawlers. This is easy to tell because they tackle, hit, and slam into each other with no body protection other than a team logo and a mouthguard. This makes them either incredibly tough or incredibly stupid. Either way, you gotta admit they would be the ones to have your back in a bar fight.

US football teams only pick rugged team names. Here there are rugby teams with names like the Swans, the Waratahs (a type of flower, ferchrissake) and the Rabbitohs. Hardly imagery US teams would even consider since there's nothing rough and tough about a rabbit.

Finally, Australians love their rugby in a way the US can only dream of. That was easy to see if you look at attendance of the recently completed championships: 97,000 (AFL) and 85,000 (NRL). Not only do we just not do venues like this, but because Australia's population is small (1/10 of the US) this meant a statistically significant portion of the population actually attended the matches. And this is with two leagues.

Hmm. What did I do with my old USFL coffee mug, anyway?

- Farmer Ted