Midsomer m*rders...

I had a chance to actually be at a village fete a few weeks ago that put me in mind of what you would see during a production of "Midsomer Murders". Although in this case it was a less a matter of finding a body in the car park and more guessing the value of "antiques" piled on several tables as judged by two professional appraisers. And while there were plenty of suspects for each item on display, it would have taken Inspector Barnaby to ferret out the truth of who's was what. Or maybe no one wanted to admit their culpability. But from looking at what was on offer and the pained look on the appraisers faces, I can tell at least they felt a crime was definitely being perpetrated.

- Farmer Ted

Weird science? Not for me...

Apparently it's tough to get students to consider going into science and engineering as a profession. Such was the testimony from Boeing to a US Congressional panel looking into the matter. "There's no shortage of scientists and engineers on TV and the movies, says Richard Stephens, senior vice-president of human resources and administration at Boeing. Many, however, are portrayed in an unsympathetic light. "In movies and on TV, 10 percent of characters are scientists and engineers," Stephens said. "Unfortunately, of those more than 70 percent kill others, are killed, or are overcome by lay people."

Uh, "lay people"?

Remember when it was considered uber-cool to be a scientist? When "Mr. Wizard" ruled the airwaves and the WGBH produced "Zoom" always included a segment doing a science experiment and I.G.Y. was more than just a Donald Fagen song. Even "McGyver" made the science behind the everyday accessible as he used a matchstick, a wad of chewing gum and a pickle to bring down a missile speeding to destroy Los Angeles...and do it remotely.

But it's been an uphill battle for a while, apparently, as I saw recently when I rented The Man in the White Suit on AppleTV. Produced in 1951 it was the era following WWII, the technology of the atom bomb and the rise of suburban US with all the devices the homes could want. In the movie, an out-of-work but utterly brilliant scientist invents a fabric that won't rip, stain or wear out. Rather than be welcomed as a hero, he is instead persecuted by the industrialist that fear it will put them out of business and the factory workers who fear it will put them out of a job. He winds up being laughed at, jeered at and hounded by mobs. As one washer woman with a pile of rags spits at him when he pleads for help, "Why can't you scientists leave things alone!"

For some reason, "Do you want fries with that?" looks like a more appreciated career choice.

- Farmer Ted

Fear on the fairground...

Tomorrow starts an annual event in Adelaide that's over 100 years old: The Royal Adelaide Show or as it's been named, The Big Show. Starting as more of a farm exposition it now features not only agriculture exhibits but rides, contests, midways and showbags. Think of a county fair in the US on steroids. It's so popular here that schools actually close so the student body can attend, I guess rather than have them cut class along with their parents.

Now, I have no problem with this at all; heck it sounds like fun! It's their advertising that gives me the shivers. I've never been comfortable with the concept of clowns in general and I have real anxiety about the Big Show choice of clown image in particular.
How these don't give kids nightmares is beyond me.

- Farmer Ted

As the seasons turn (winter)...

Some winter pics I've taken of places I've been in South Australia this year.

A local beach with a storm approaching. It can get pretty wild when they hit.
The River Torrens flooding. Most of the year this a veritable trickle. Winter is the rainy season in Australia and this August has been the rainiest in 18 years. Good, but it's still in drought around here overall.
See where the bench is? Yep, it's flooded. Unless you want your feet wet, that is.One of the Torrens catchments. The graffiti is evidence this is dry most of the time. I have learned the true meaning of "flash flood" from watching this go from empty to like this in mere minutes.
Remind me to reprise this in 6-month's time, ok?

- Farmer Ted

"What's the matter with kids..."

After having embraced the technology before today's Gen-Y'ers were even born, I find myself feeling curiously left behind sometimes. Like the whole thing with social networking sites, something about which I have discussed my scorn and well-placed mistrust of before.

But even your Farmer may have to get on the social network bus by necessity. Take this exchange I had on the phone recently:

Me: (to my 15yo niece) We should keep in touch, Natasha.
Natasha: Well, why don’t you friend me on Facebook?
Me: Sorry. I don’t have a Facebook account.
Natasha: (with audible scorn) Oh…
Me: Well, why don’t you send me an email?
Natasha: (sounding pained) Email? Well I guess…
Me: OK! What’s your email address?
Natasha: I got lots of them. Which one do you want?
Me: (puzzled) Uh. I don’t know. Which one do you check most?
Natasha: I dunno. Gmail?
Me: GREAT! What’s your email address there?
Natasha: I got lots of 'em. I don’t know, try this one (reciting a username that must mean something if you're under 17).
Me: Perfect. I’ll send something there when I go online. You will check it, right?
Natasha: I guess. (pause) But why don’t you just friend me on Facebook?

Why do I feel like Harry MacAfee (Paul Lynde) in the movie Bye Bye Birdie?



- Farmer Ted

It's Fang-tastic..!

I'm really hooked on HBO's "True Blood". I brought Season 1 of the show here with me on DVD and used it to glamour other unsuspecting viewers with it's rather salacious drama. I've downloaded Season 2 on iTunes and even though it's turned a bit more soap-ish and B-grade during the season, I love it just the same. And I am discriminating, finding vampire dramas like "Vampire Diaries" and the Twilight Saga just plain annoying; agreeing with True Blood creator Alan Ball when he said in Rolling Stone magazine that the idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous.

Butters does often wonder why I like the genre and even more puzzling why it doesn't give me nightmares. First off, I do realize there really are no such things as vampires; and, horror doesn't bother me - suspense does. So I sleep like a baby.

There is one thing about True Blood that does scare the bejeezus out of me every time I see it; and that's the still of the opossum during the opening credits. And given the cuddly look of what they call a possum in Australia, who can blame me?

So which would you rather meet in a dark attic?

- Farmer Ted

Fractured fairy tale tweets...

While I do have disdain for social networking sites such as Facebook and their ilk, I will say that during election night of the recently held Federal elections here in Australia, Butters and I did tune in to Crikey.com and the veritable blizzard of Twitter traffic as the news analysis of the results droned on.

Now the majority of the tweets were as you would expect, inane blather of 140-chrs or less, but there were those that did provide some amusing moments. The one that had me laugh out loud was when the TV commentators talked about the race for the seat of Lalor, Victoria now held by the current Prime Minister, Ms Julia Gillard, against the Liberal candidate, Ms Sheridan Ingram.

When Ms Ingram's pic appeared on the screen came the well-timed tweet, "Rapunzel rapunzel let down your hair!"

I think soda shot out of my nose.

- Famer Ted

Observing the Aussies: Rules of the road...

There are a few more things about driving that have puzzled me since coming to Australia. Things you point out to your standard Aussie and they laugh a bit uncomfortably thinking, "Yeah, why do we do that?"

DEATH SIGNS - Nothing seem to preoccupy the road safety nannies here in Australia than letting you know that getting behind the wheel of a car means you better have a paid up life insurance policy and a valid will. From distance markers predicting your demise, road side indicators marking someone else's demise or gruesome ads depicting your likely demise it makes you want to just stay home.

ROAD PILLOWS - What the heck are these yellow concrete things anyway? From what I can tell, other than to rip the suspension from the bottom of your car they can't really serve a purpose a simple painted line can't. And with much less vehicle damage.

WHAT EXIT NUMBERS? - The New Jersey state query of "What exit number do you live off of?" would be met with a puzzled silence here. Not sure why, but highway exits only list town or road names. It sure did get me lost one day when trying to find Pigeon's place and his breezy instructions to "Get off at the exit for my town" was not enough. Mostly because his town wasn't listed on any of the signs. After traveling for miles past and, I kid you not, seeing cow skeletons by the side of the road we finally got turned around and found it. "Oh, I guess it's not on the sign is it?" he apologized when we drove up dusty and almost out of gas, adding, "But I know the exit when I see it."

Just call me "King of the Road." Mate.

- Farmer Ted

International House of Horrors: H-E-double-L..

There are two main political parties here in Australia: Labor - which for some reason is not spelled with a "u" in it; and Liberal - which is anything but as they are the conservative party. It is odd how there always seem to be two major politicals in every country I can think of. Hm.

But I digress.

What's fascinating about voting in Australia is that: a) voting is on a Saturday; b) all political ads have to stop two days before the election; and, c) you can get fined for not voting even if you're not in the country. Now while I wish the US would adopt "a" & "b", choice "c" can be binned, if you ask me.

The coolest thing is that they do preferential balloting. So when you vote, you don't just say "I pick you!" but, in schoolyard fashion when choosing sides at kickball, you get a first, second and third choice on down until there are either no candidates left or your pencil gets dull.

But the fun appears to really happen when it comes to counting the votes. Not only does it depend on what kind of election it is (state or federal) but also whether it's the House of Representatives or the Senate. How votes are counted given preferences is so complicated even Einstein would have scratched his head, involving "quotas", vote reallocation, proportional or transfer votes and a healthy dose of "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe".

Still, much like during election time in the US, I most look forward to when it will all be over.

- Farmer Ted