Well I'm on my way back Down Under today. I had a GREAT time in the US seeing family and friends for the holidays. Also got some cool gifts to bring back, especially some Pee-Wee Herman DVDs (thanks Froggy!).
While I'm looking forward to getting back, the one thing I'm not looking forward is the air travel getting there. Or more specifically, dealing with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employees. So because I do tend to travel so much, I have a few suggestions for the TSA representatives that contact the general public:
1) STOP SHOUTING! - You're standing in the snaking line going up to the security checkpoint and all you hear over and over is some TSA rep braying instructions at the top of their lungs. Already feeling like an extra in the movie
Soylent Green, all this does is make the situation more chaotic and tense. A suggestion? How about a friendly rep or volunteer who walk down the line chatting, providing those same instructions in a one-on-one basis and so and making people feel more at ease.
2) SMILE :-) - Yes, I know you view us as the unwashed masses that just make your life more difficult, but we're not: we're someone's brothers, sisters, friends, and parents. Wouldn't you try and make your own see you actually don't despise them the moment you see them? I also think you'll find that people will be more tractable and cooperative. After all, we want to make your job easier as it makes our travel smoother.
3) A LITTLE COURTESY NEVER HURTS. - An "Excuse me, Sir/Ma'am," a "Yes, please?" when it's my turn to approach you, and a "Thank you, have a good flight," would be most welcome! You are the first experience most travelers will have and more than a grunt and no eye contact really matters overall. I once saw an employee refuse to process an elderly passenger because he didn't have his medicine in a quart bag. Rather than offer him a bag, they told him he would have to get out of line to find one. I think there is a special place in a middle seat at the back of a plane for that TSA person.
To my fellow travelers? I try to give the TSA reps I encounter my best smile and greeting; it's surprising how many respond - usually with amazement.
Perhaps there is a give-and-take here.
- Farmer Ted
It's officially 40C here today. That's about 104F in the normal scale. Went out today and once the door opened it literally took my breath away.
Did you know koala bears look all cuddly and cute just like all the plush toys you've seen? Did you also know that those cuddly representation leave off a set of very lethal looking claws? Did you also know they make strong eucalyptus smelling urine and even spit when disturbed, possibly explaining why you've never seen a "live action" koala doll?
One thing I've discovered here on-station is that Australian Bureau of Meteorology (the US equivalent of the National Weather Service) is good at one thing: historical recording of the weather. When it comes to actually forecasting the weather they appear to have only two predictions, which are "completely wrong" and "partially wrong". This is particularly true when it 
comes to predicting rain, where the perception is that the BOM is accurate only 50% of the time. And this in a country where rain is so critical! To put it in other words, you could flip a coin and be just as accurate.
I can hear you thinking "What's so bad about a few flies?" Well, in Australia they are of the variety that the moment you step outside squadrons converge on you and head straight for your face. I'm talking of a quantity not seen since the 4th plague of Moses. They neither bite nor sting, just proceed to crawl all over your face and into your mouth, nose, and ears until you find yourself slapping visciously at your face like Curly of the The Three Stooges.
No Australian yet has been able to give me a satisfactory explanation as to why there are so many flies here, nor why they unerringly find you the moment you step out of any fly-free environment. Asking your average Australian gets you a puzzled frown as they start to dispute the question. Then they ruefully laugh, "Ya got me, mate. I have no idea," as they proceed to fan away the nearest flies - an action so common it's been called the Australian salute.
Well I'm on my way back Down Under today. I had a GREAT time in the US seeing family and friends for the holidays. Also got some cool gifts to bring back, especially some Pee-Wee Herman DVDs (thanks Froggy!).
While I'm looking forward to getting back, the one thing I'm not looking forward is the air travel getting there. Or more specifically, dealing with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employees. So because I do tend to travel so much, I have a few suggestions for the TSA representatives that contact the general public:
Thinking back on the humble origins of the Queensland & Northern Territories Air Service (see! I'll bet there are plenty of Australians out there that had no idea that's what QANTAS stood for!) it was really started by a bunch of people who needed planes to get to the nearest Woolies for a pair of Y-fronts.
But it's not the lengths those intrepid pilots went through to fly, but rather the fact that the "seat of the pants/ any landing you walk away from is a good one" mentality I have a problem with. While US pilots sorta of have the feeling that landing should be more like a swan landing on a still lake, Qantas pilots seem to think that landing a plane is more like one of the Swedish Chef's "flappen-jacken" shot down off the ceiling. But what's more amazing is that the cargo of these erstwhile wrangler pilots is about 200 thoroughly complacent Aussies to whom this slap dash approach to getting on the ground seems to mean nothing to.
Here it is another year turns and another year of blogging! 2008 promises to be very momentous for Your Humble Farmer. As I settle in to watch a day of The Twilight Zone marathon, I do want to give a few shoutouts to the land down under:
