Observing the Aussies: Car culture...

They say you can tell alot about a country by the cars they drive. As my faithful readers will know, I've commented on driving in Australia before; but what I'm after here is not a comment on driving or what they drive, but how the people who drive certain cars are perceived.

I'm talking specifically here about a type of vehicle here called a Ute (pronounced "yoot", as in "utility"). In the US we last saw cars like these in that extinct car model called the Chevrolet El Camino; it not being made since the year Prozac was released in the US.

Amazingly utes are, at this moment, being made and sold in Australia. And they are made to appeal to a certain segment of the population. As a matter of fact, you can see exactly who it is marketed to by observing the latest Falcon Ute commercial:



After seeing it, here's a multiple choice for you. This commercial is marketed toward:

a) College students needing a car to four-wheel during spring break

b) Housewives needing transport for kids to a playdate

c) Men who find themselves the topic of the Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be A Redneck" Tour.

Not even Wal*Mart panders as shamelessly to a demographic.
And that's sayin' something.

- Farmer Ted

International House of Horrors: A career down the toilet...

Now Farmer Ted is as open-minded as the next guy. But I do draw the line at elected officials attempting the nasty in public bathrooms.

For those who don't know, US Senator Larry Craig (R) of Idaho was recently arrested for solicitation of an undercover male police officer in the restroom of a Minnesota airport.

On Page 4 of the arrest report the officer claims that Sen. Craig exhibited behavior towards him "often used by persons communicating a desire to engage in sexual conduct." Despite Sen. Craig's protestations of innocence, my thought is that for someone who didn't know that's what he was doing, the Senator sure seemed to know exactly what to do.

Mm-hm. As my southern mama always said "Where there's smoke, there's fire."

"Hello? Reality? There's an elected official who needs you to send a check his way."

- Farmer Ted

In a mysterious blaze of glory...

My friend Mela took this photo while here in Australia on a trip to Kangaroo Island:

Pretty incredible isn't? Can you figure out what's causing such a striking effect in the photo?

On second thought..

Ya know what? I'm not sure I want an explanation. Sometimes it's best just to amazed.

- Farmer Ted

"That was the seat I paid for..."

Irene Morgan Kirkaldy died on Friday.

She was arrested for refusing to give up her seat to a white couple on a crowded Virginia bus one hot July day in 1944, 11 years before Rosa Parks.

She inspired the first Freedom Ride to demonstrate against racism.
She inspired Thurgood Marshall to successfully fight Jim Crow laws in the Supreme Court - where he would one day serve as the first black Justice.

She also inspired others to be the best human beings they could be. And really, isn't that what it's all about?

- Farmer Ted

Observing the Aussies: Footy...

Australian rules football - footy - is the national obsession here. AFL, the Australian Football League, is analogous to the NFL in the US with it's own monopoly on franchises, royalties, and random drug testing. The AFL is also very glamorous, grabbing the headlines weekly with doings like "Mad Monday binge ends with man's skull crushed." Ah, those crazy kids.

It's arch rival is rugby, the key organization being the National Rugby League, or NRL. Rugby players can be distinguised by a) no neck from running into each other flat out using their heads as primary protection for the rest of their bodies; and 2) "Duh?" being their wittiest response when they have the unfortunate luck of being put in front of a TV camera. Observe:

But it's been almost a year since I arrived here in Australia for the first time and wrote about sports in Australia. Now I'm even in a footy tipping competition, which is sorta like a football pool in the US only way more organized. So there I am in a field of 3 dozen participants where I've twice won for picking the most winners in any week, much to the chagrin of the Aussies here.

Sure, Rupert Murdoch may have gotten the Dow Jones empire but I've got footy locked up. So there!

- Farmer Ted

International House of Horrors: I'll take door number 2...

While the US is sending Americans to give their lives in the Middle East arguably to secure oil & gas reserves in a war costing the American taxpayer $4700 per second, Russia has just planted their flag on the resource rich North Pole thought to hold about 18% of the world's oil reserves for about, oh, $46.95 in filing fees.

Hmph.

If I were on "Let's Make A Deal" I know which door I'd pick.

- Farmer Ted

Veni Vidi DaVinci...

There has been quite the dust up lately about the possibility that hidden within Leonardo DaVinci's "Last Supper" might be a depiction of Christ blessing the bread and wine, causing so many hits to topical websites they crashed. Some random IT guy named Slavisa Pesci has figured that by taking an image of the painting, reversing it, and superimposing it on the original image you will see bread, a chalice, a baby, a Knights Templar, and I swear, Jimmy Hoffa.

Of course, being the pragmatist, I look and can't see anything. Even when I saw the version where what I was supposed to see was circled. And besides, I know DaVinci was one helluva clever guy but - C'MON! Don't you think if Leo were that clever Dan Brown would have already put it in the book?

So I'm chalking this up to be the likes of the eBay auction of a half-eaten piece of cheese on toast showing the Virgin Mary, or kooks that see Elvis' face etched in a rock.

And just like Dorothy in Season 4 of the series The Golden Girls when she gets thrown out of the Elvis Appreciation Club for not seeing Elvis face in the piece of meat, I ain't playin'.

- Farmer Ted