Driving la vida Bond...

Seeing as it's a rainy day here around the porch, wanted to take a moment out to mention something to all the drivers out there. Ok, so the roads are wet. Yes I can understand driving with more caution.

But people... c'mon!

On the way to the feed store I was behind a minivan which was driving in the light rain as if it were a Katrina-esque hurricane. Soon I was just one of a line of about 10 cars creeping along behind it at well below the 35 mph speed limit. Which, I'm like, ok - some people don't handle rain well.

But do you want to know what burned me up? All the caution when out the damn window when we approached an intersection whose traffic light when from green to amber. All of a sudden, homey in the minivan hit the gas pedal and took off like the space shuttle, pushing the red and streaking through the light while the rest of us behind were all caught. As I stopped at the light, my last view of the minivan was of its fat ass careening away; disappearing into the misty rain.

It's times like those I wish for chassis mounted rockets on my car. Press a handy button on the dashboard and they drop down from the undercarriage like in a James Bond movie and rocket forward, completely obliterating the offending vehicle. Now some people say laser beams or disruptor rays are cleaner, but I say use the rockets: You'll get that extra sense of satisfaction as you drive through their debris.

- Farmer Ted