Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Eve on the interstate...

I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already and there I was, out doing the last-minute running around like everyone seems to do despite their most ardent resolution not to. As I was traveling down the interstate at 70mph (the legal speed limit around here) I was amazed at all the different license plates on the cars blasting past me: Kansas, North Carolina, Tennessee, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia and New Jersey, to name a few. A veritable checklist of states. People all hurrying to be somewhere special for the holidays.

Yes, I think Christmas Eve is my favorite part of the Christmas season. Tree all up and shining with lights and hope and surprises. Guess I'm just one of those people that anticipation is the best part of it. Like all those people driving on the interstate turning on the warp drive to get where they wanted to be.



Have yourselves a merry little Christmas!

- Farmer Ted

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Water...

My 4 month-old cousin was baptized today.

Surrounded by loving relatives and a joyous congregation, Little Man didn't even fuss: just took it all in with his (from what they tell me) usual wide-eyed curiosity that he seems to view everything in this world, protesting only when the pastor anointed him with three splashes of water.

Seems like I've heard a million platitudes about "going back to your inner child" or wishing they could "see life like a child again."

Me? I get pleasure in knowing this little person is seeing life anew. Finding their own purpose; hopefully a positive purpose. And in that, perhaps be someone who makes a difference for all of us.

And that's enough for me.

- Farmer Ted

Saturday, December 22, 2007

"Christmas in Connecticut"...

One of my favorite holiday movies is 1945's "Christmas in Connecticut" starring Miss Barbara Stanwyck. In it, she plays journalist Elizabeth Lane who authors a popular food column in a home style magazine. The movie opens as she writes an article about the perfect Christmas at her perfect country house in Connecticut when in actually she has a one bedroom walk-up in New York City. When she is supposed to host an elaborate party at her supposed house she wails,

"Arrange it, are you crazy? Where am I gonna get a farm? I haven't even got a window box!"

That's how I felt trying to get into the Christmas spirit in Australia. I said the right holiday things to people but inside it just didn't feel right. Having only known a norther n hemisphere Christmas with cold weather and short days celebrated with lotsa lights and decorations, having long +90F days and Christmas bbq's just struck an incongruous cord that was simply hard to shake.

Refugees from the northern hemisphere advised me, "You'll never get used to it" and to just muddle along, window box or no.

So it's good to be back up north for a bit. And while it may not be a farm in Connecticut, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

- Farmer Ted

Friday, December 21, 2007

On the porch talking soup...

Well here I am back in the US again for another holiday season.

Yes, it's me. Your humble farmer back from a bit of a porch sittin' hiatus.

What's evident now that I'm back is how little things have changed in the intervening months. Maybe it's because even in Australia the US dominates their news. But there's nothing like saying "Welcome home, Farmer Ted!" than being felt up by a TSA worker.

Mm-hm!

There is one thing I have missed: the Emmy Award winning show "Talk Soup" on E! Network featuring Joel McHale. Arguable the funniest host on television, he is appealing enough to keep you watching, and just goofy enough to make you glad you're not him. Although, has anyone else noticed he seems to be getting MORE hair as time goes on?

Or that despite the fact he's "married" he has an affection for toy dogs and a rather creepy obsession with Ryan Seacrest? What's that about?

I'm just sayin.

But it's good to be back and I'm sure I'll be talking a bit more about what happened while I was away. so pull up a chair while I get lemonade from the kitchen.

- Farmer Ted

Thursday, September 13, 2007

What was is the now...

The Ute? What? What?

Imagine my surprise to have heard the announcement that the Holden VE Ute is planned to be exported to the US and rolled out as either the Pontiac G8 or the Chevrolet El Camino (again!).

Let's see: The ute started in the US, came to Australia, was killed as a car line in the US while living on Down Under, and then 20 years later will be on the streets again in the US.

Wow.

Even athlete's foot isn't this tenacious.

- Farmer Ted

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Haiku for Pinchy...

morning light, standing tall
a little snip
sitting now lightly lightly

(Get well soon, mate!)

- Farmer Ted

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tis the season...

It's spring here in Australia.

Now my friends in the northern hemisphere might be a little perplexed by my saying that since it's still summer there. And by logic one would think that, given the fact the earth is spherical, all that stuff should pretty much be the exact opposite from north-to-south: i.e., north:summer / south:winter. But it doesn't.

Fact is, in North America seasons are delineated using the crazy idea of the relative positions of the sun. So when the sun is lowest in the sky (solstice with the shortest daylight) marks the beginning of winter. Next time when the sun is midway in the sky, marking the equinox, is the beginning of spring. And so on.

My blithe assumption that this was how the world works was shattered on Friday when, while out with 3 Australian friends, they all were so happy the next day was the first day of spring. "No it's not," I countered, thinking of when autumn would start in the US. "Spring shouldn't start until around 23 September or so." My utterance was followed by silence as they all exchanged that uh-oh-there-goes-that-crazy-American-again glance I've come to know so well.

"No dear," one woman said as she gently took my hand as if I were a backward child, "spring always starts 1 September."

I think I actually gaped.

Turns out that in Australia, rather than go through that whole sun-thing the year is simply divided into quarters. Sorta like a seasonal fiscal calendar. So Sept-Nov is spring, Dec-Feb is summer, March-May is autumn (NEVER "fall"), and June-Aug is winter.

Which is, I guess, as good an interpretation for them as any. But I think they might consider adopting one of the many aboriginal calendars. These can have 4, 5, even 6 or more separate seasons, depending on the particular region, due to Australia's rather diverse climate areas. However unlike the seasonal fiscal calendar in use tied to nothing in particular, these ancient peoples based them on natural yearly phenomenon.

Wow. Basing a calendar on nature. Crazy idea huh?

- Farmer Ted